when i get angry..

my body heats up, my head gets this awkward pressurey pain.., i feel like screaming and cussing it up but i don't (mostly), i start chain smoking one ciggie after another. one of the main reasons i smoke is soothing my temper and it works, i frown with a sad face, innocent in denial look.., i stop after smoking 3 or 4 cigs depending on how big an issue it is, i cool down to the level of saneness and relax, i start thinking about it, making solutions in my mind with dialogues, scenes of how it would've been if i reacted or took action or said differently, what's it called?, strategic troubleshooting?, that's how i can describe it right now (techie me).., think of how that situation that triggered my anger would have been if it has gone in a different course, i think of what i have said and what would've been said in return, think of how it could be solved and fixed, how i would act on it maturely, some temporary fixes that won't last long and that issue would piss me off cause it still exists, but that's how life is, rarely fair..

in the end after all the fuss that happens in my brain i settle with a solution and/or shesma.., a scenario of what should've been done, learn from my mistakes.. "always", as in not ignore it nor be stubborn towards it or act negatively aggressive towards it or "them", always be rational and logic, that's how i taught my self to be to live it out, life goes on.


what inspired me to write it was

How do you release your anger? Write dark and random poetry, and cry...

i blame SwAiR on it :P hehe well thanks for your "inspirational" tag answer!, always wanted to describe how i react towards my temperish anger :P, thanks!

oh forgot to mention how i'd react towards anger in person, ya3ni something that was said or done to me in person, initially i'd act all cool about it, try to talk it out calmly and tell the person about what they just did and ask why blah blah.. loyah, i ignore and just frown sometimes.. meanie people don't deserve getting on my nerves or temper.., ugh mali '7elg, that's a whole different subject here, probably some other time..